For Evan

Today I posted a poem that makes me cry every single time I read it.  I could read this poem 100 times a day and I would cry 100 times a day. But not because I miss my dad (which I do) but because it reminds me of my own son.  I know this poem is about my brother, and so I’m sure when he reads it he feels something quite different.  But for me, this poems transplants me into my son’s bedroom, at his bedside, kissing him goodnight.   I know that ferocity my dad describes in this poem.  Evan hugs me like he never wants to let go.  And I hope he never does.

So, my sweet Evan, this poem is for you.  Though you never met your grandfather, you have his heart and his ability to love deeply and intensely.  And I love you, immortally.

The Invention of Immortality

I had just turned to
To go, when you called me
Back into your room
The lamp a velvety glow
Beside the bed.
“I love you” you said
To me, the words
Strangely stark and serious
In their familiar
Setting.  And leaning
Over you, your small face
At four and a half
Just blossoming into boyishness
You reached up, and
Drew me down with such a
Frightening hug
Into your pillow, whispering
“Even when I’m dead
I’ll love you.”

evan cropped

My sweet boy, at just older than four and a half.

2 comments on “For Evan

  1. harevalour says:

    That is so beautiful and sweet!


  2. maria says:

    A lovely parental universal!


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